Sunday, January 31, 2010

I Am a Little Pencil...

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world. - Mother Teresa

I have just moved forward toward publishing the book I have been working on - off and on - for a while now. There has been a period in which I could not do much writing and I was frustrated about it, feeling like I was failing, but I have now realized that I have actually been working on it more "on" than "off", even if it did not seem so. Events of my life have been telling the story, with me living the book even when I was not writing. The experiences ARE the book - the seeking, the learning, the practicing - all a necessary part of what is being said. It is one thing to write about something from your head, telling others how to be, but the experience of living it, obstacles and all, makes it from the heart. To write this book from the heart, from the soul, I needed to live it fully, and God provided me with wonderful opportunities to "practice what I preach".

I needed to learn to let go of my own fears and just trust Him, knowing that everything we need is provided at exactly the time we need it, and when we are ready to allow it. I needed to clear areas of my life that were holding me back, some of which had been holding me back my entire life, patterns that ran deep. I needed to learn to love me, because the love I give others is not complete until I really love and appreciate myself. I needed to learn that I am deserving, and special, and that I have many gifts from God to share with the world, to help make it a better place. I needed to let go of the effects of a world that beats us up, telling us that we are less, forcing us to conform to its way, which are not always in line with who we really are.

At the beginning of this year, I started hosting a facebook page studying "A Course In Miracles". Its ideas correspond to many of the thoughts on this blogsite, and the ideas that I have been learning since I started down this journey of spiritual awakening. ACIM shows us a systematic path on which to undo some of our worldly conditioning so that we can return to God in a truer fashion, through returning to our own power that is activated by love. It shows us how to release our fear emotions, which include doubt, guilt, judgment, and uncertainty. Although I had studied ACIM previously, going throught the exercises again at this time, after I had cleared many obstacles, has been immensely helpful. Doing it with others through facebook, I believe, has given me an added power. As we seek to grow spiritually, we are uplifted by others who are doing the same.

As I move forward in finishing the book and publishing it, I keep in mind Mother Teresa'a quote and ask to be a little pencil in the hand of God. I know these experiences I have had are through God, and I ask to be an accurate messenger of ideas that will help others find God, find peace, find love for themselves and others so that our world can be a better place. If you have enjoyed this blogsite, please hold me up in the light to help me complete this task in a way that brings light to others.

We are all pencils of God, whether we are writing, expressing other gifts, or simply living in a way that shows compassion and acceptance of others, remembering that we are all One. Find your avenue to be a little pencil, to open to your gifts and share with others. Your life will have new meaning and you will have more joy and peace.

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