Friday, December 4, 2009

Giving Up the Need To Be Right

We all love to be right. The recent trends in our culture have exacerbated that tendency, from excess litigation, to the common phrase of "it's just business", we are fraught with excuses that give us the green light to do whatever it takes to achieve that "win". We choose our "side" first, then decide how to back it up to make us feel right.

In the political arena, we see it constantly. Those who are "against" a candidate or leader send blazing emails to everyone they know to bring him/her down, rarely taking the time to check the validity of what they are sending, simply interested in being right. This comes from BOTH sides, because both sides are so focused on winning the "wrong" or "right" argument that they take little time think about finding truth or compromise, little time to get to the heart of how we can solve problems, engrossed instead on how our side can win the next election.

This tendency is not confined to the political is in most everything we do. Is is paramount in our religious and spiritual conversations. These, to me, are the most important ones, because if we can grow spiritually...truly growing, rather than just focusing on winning...our other problems, both individual and collective, will begin to disappear. It is our constant need to fight to be right that fuels our problems. There is a saying that "what we resist, persists", when we go against something, it is given power. This is what JUDGMENT is all about. When we judge something, we are actually contributing to it. When we take a fighting stance against it, we are in a negative energy; when we accept others views with respect - even if we disagree - our energy is positive and can usher is a light that will create miracles.

But where do we begin? Our world is so caught up in being right that it sometimes seems that it would be impossible to create any lasting effect. However, numerous studies on energy (done in scientific fashion) have indicated that having a mere 3% of positive thought can have enough impact to tip us in the other direction (that tells us a little about how our positive vs. negative thoughts stack up right now!).

Mother Teresa said, "I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there." This is an example of choosing positive thought over negative thought. When we are against something, we are pointing out that someone else is wrong...we are caught up in our need to be right. When we shift our thoughts to a positive one, such as "pro-peace" it changes the entire perspective, minimizing the resistance. A single positive thought is exponentially stronger than a single negative thought, which is why it would only take a small percentage of truly positive thinkers to change the world.

YOU can be part of that 3% by simply changing your thoughts from negative to positive. Expect the best rather than the worst, see the good in others rather than the bad, spend your time building on positive things rather than tearing down what you oppose. You will notice a change around will begin to attract more positive people...those who are excessively negative may not be able to handle the shift, and may even attack or become hostile to try to get you back into the negative camp, but will simply drift away if you persist in a positive light. I say this from my own experiences, where I felt the need to be right, the desire for validation, but instead shifted into detachment from that necessity. It brought peace to me and eliminated the conflict. It lifted me up and opened the way for greater things within me.

At this time of year when we think of peace, love, and giving...choose to give the gift of positive thought...give up the need to be right, show respect without personal attack when you debate an issue, or simply agree to disagree when it seems that differences cannot be resolved. Detach your ego from the discussion. We often say that we want peace in the world, yet the only way to achieve that is to have peace within ourselves...we cannot encourage peace if we do not have it within us. Conflicted hearts bring on conflicted ways, but contented hearts bring on joy and harmony. Find peace and serenity in yourself and your surroundings, and you will help change the world.


Marion said...

I loved this post, Sherri. I so wish I had this knowledge back when I was young. When I gave up the need to be right, pushing ego away, it made my life so much easier, more peaceful and a lot happier.

This post should be mandatory reading for everyone! Thank you!

Sherri said...

Yes, Marion, once we let of the ego and the attachment, the "issue" no longer matters. We spend too much of our lives caught up in the "right" and "wrong" and not just living from our hearts, whether that be judging right/wrong in others, trying to do everything right ourselves, or feeling guilty for doing wrong (or perceived wrong). None of that is really productive toward living from our souls, and only takes us away from peace and joy - where we are supposed to be!