A Very Long Goodbye

My dad passed away last week. He had been ill for a very long time with failure of most of his major organs. He also had suffered from severe alcoholism that made him a different person, not always easy to get along with. I remember Nancy Reagan expressing her ordeal with her husband's Alzheimer's as "a very long goodbye," and I think this has been a similar experience. It is the constant hope that the person you know is in there will emerge and be different. It is the delicate balance of not giving up faith, but also not being to consumed in hope. I think what helped me do that was changing my faith not to things getting better or going away, but to understanding that they were for a purpose, to teach things, or provide opportunities for growth. In that process, I learned to let go of hurt, to detach in a healthy way, and be grateful for the lessons learned from the experience.

I don't know if we ever totally outgrow the need for our parents' approval. As I sat at my dad's bedside in the hospital the day before he died, I took some time to think of funny stories and talk about better times that we had shared. I told him how much I loved him and thanked him for all that he had done for me or taught me, told him the things that I was proud of him for. And although I knew he had not been responsive for days, not truly coherent for months, or totally lucid for years, there was a part of me that hoped he would say it back or give some indication that he wanted to say it back. In spite of my growth and understanding that our approval comes from within, from seeking truth - in that moment, I wanted his approval.

When I think more deeply about this, I think it stems from our belief that we are not quite worthy of God's approval. We seek it from our earthly parents and others, in part, because we are longing for that unconditional love from God, doubting that it could be there for us always. We cling more easily to the things we have done wrong or our seeming imperfections, but not very easily to the things we have done right. We see ourselves as less than we truly are, as flawed and undeserving of God's rewards.

When I think of God in the metaphor of "Heavenly Father" that has been painted for us, I think of my own sons and how I want them to see and know the good in themselves. When I feel like they are down on themselves or feeling like they are unworthy, it breaks my heart. I know how wonderful they are and want them to always feel that and know it. There have been times over the years when I could not get through to them with this idea, as even kids can be very down on themselves sometimes, and the world around them not so gentle. It was a horrible feeling for me, as a mother, to think that they were hurting or that they did not see their own gifts or perfection. I can only assume that God gets the same feeling when we think less of ourselves than He knows He made us to be. It must be tough to watch over all of your children knowing that they cannot see their own talents, their own abilities, or that they go around feeling like they are less than worthy of all that you want to give them. If we want to serve God or serve the world, we should not burden Him by accepting any idea that we are less, but should see ourselves as he does...in our glory.

Throughout this week, dealing with my father's passing, I have looked to my own sons for love, and they have been there. My house lifted when they came through the door after traveling all day to get here. It makes me think of how God not only welcomes us home at any time, but probalby misses us being there with him. We can go home to heaven whenever we want by laying down our fears or our feelings of unworthiness, lifting ourselves up instead of tearing ourselves down; but we resist, thinking that we have not yet earned it. And God waits, ready to give approval, waiting for us to see ourselves as He does, perhaps broken hearted that we cannot.

I did not get my dad's approval at his bedside, or at least not directly, due to his state of unconsciousness; but I asked that he give me signs after passing, to let me know he was ok. I have received those signs that he is not only ok, but that he is thriving and alive again. My dad has heaven again...if he had only known it was there all along.

How Dreams Can Guide Us

“Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.” (~Marsha Norman)

Our sleeping dreams can be great teachers and guides in our daily lives. Sometimes these confused dreams of nighttime are teaching us in a subconscious way even if we don't "get it" consciously. Recently, I had a dream that was so symbolic of things I was going through, telling me how to deal with them, trying to vividly alert me how to react or proceed. If you have followed this blog over the last few posts, you know that I have been engaging in some difficult, yet ultimately liberating, detachment from some almost lifelong family patterns and issues.

A couple of weeks ago, during the crux of this process, I had a dream that was unclear and troubling in the moment, but became crystal clear to me when I recalled it the next day. It was an eye-opening parallel. In my dream, I recall having a problem with water pipes being clogged, causing my water supply to be barely a trickle and drying up quickly. I discovered that the pipes were clogged with vines, so I set about cutting and pulling the vines in an attempt to clear the pipes and return to full water flow. I kept working at it, but the more I worked, the less it seemed to help, as the water flow continued to diminish. I was frustrated as I continued to cut and clear, but then heard a voice that said, "It won't do any good to keep cutting because they will just grow back as quickly as you cut them, and will grow bigger. You need to replace the entire pipeline in order to get water. If you do not, you will have no life source flowing."

Wow. That was a moment of truth. In the moment of the dream, it was all about pipes and vines, but the next day, I understood this symbolism perfectly because, metaphorically speaking, I had always tried to fix the existing "pipes" to return the flow of water by removing the "vines", even though they only kept growing bigger and more invasive over time, coming back repeatedly in increasingly damaging ways. I was gradually cutting off my ability to connect to source, because those continuously choking obstacles that I could not eliminate were blocking that connection. Water is a source of physical of life, just as God is the source of spiritual life. If we block or slow the source, we cannot thrive, we cannot be fully alive in our greatest capacity. I was already aware that the obstacles around me had been blocking my spiritual connection to some extent, but this dream made it clear that the two could not continue in this manner...the blockages were winning by disallowing the flow. As I have stayed committed to detachment, my connection to spirit and spiritual gifts has come back in full force, or possibly even stronger than ever.

Our dreams tell us significant things, particularly when we are seeking a greater connection to Spirit. If we seek answers and ask for them, they will be revealed to us in many ways, including through our dreams. And while we may not always understand or even remember the dreams, they are at work in reminding us where we need to be and what is in our way. If we are sincerely ready to follow, the path will be shown to us.

Some believe that the dream state is part of our connection to the Spirit dimension, and that it is actually more "real" than our waking state of human existence. I tend to agree with this idea, and believe that dreams can provide so many answers, as well as momentary relief from the things that trouble us in our 3-dimensional existence. I receive a lot of communication from angels in my dreams, particularly at key stages in my spiritual growth. Whenever I follow the advice from my dream state, I find that the communication and connection in the waking state gets stronger.

So if you are seeking a greater connection, start with your dreams. Prior to going to sleep, ask that your dreams be used to reveal things to you. They are probably already being used that way, but asking for it can make them more of a focus for angels or spirit to communicate with you. Try to write the dreams down to see if they will later have meaning or become clearer to you. We have often been told to "follow our dreams," but perhaps we should do this in more ways than one. Apply the advice and guidance that resonates from your dream state, and it may help lead you to your greatest waking dreams, and everything you desire in your life.

Identifying Your "Downers"

When we talk about letting go of the things that are holding us back, we often have a hard time identifying them. Partly it is because there are certain things that we think are "givens" in our lives - that we cannot possibly let go of. We don't even consider that these may be areas we need to change or step away from.

Sometimes this may be people that keep us heavy or feeling entangled, sometimes it is circumstances - job, where we live, financial situations,health problems - but most everything in our lives can be changed if we really want to. You may have a job that you hate but feel like you have no choice. While it may be true that you cannot leave in this instant, you can certainly do things to prepare for a future change. While you may assume that you have to live where you do, there may be other options that could be considered if you really want to do something different. You may worry about health issues, but fail to make changes to your habits...Worry about finance problems, but not eliminate the behavior that may have contributed to them. It is so often our failure to change that keeps us in "problems", but the problems are merely indicators that we need changes.

I run across so many people who say they want change in their lives - want less stress, want to have more meaning - yet keep doing exactly what they have always done. I have been in that place before as well, and still find myself migrating there at times. It is our conditioning, and we sometimes feel obligated to continue it. Eistein has been attributed as saying, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". Many of us live our lives this way; I know I certainly have in many areas, but it is not so hard to change that practice it if you really want to. Change is what allows us to grow. If we are not becoming more, we need change.

The first step is identifying the areas that need alteration. This is often the hardest part - but hard only because we ignore many of these areas, not wanting to consider possible change. This may be relationships that bring us down, work situations, financial challenges, routines that we are stuck in. But we generally have internal indicators that should be recognized as signs to us that these things are not serving us, or that our attachment to them is not contributing to our greater good. It is only when we are in our highest vibration that we can affect others most powerfully, or that we can affect our own lives and manifest our destinies - so it does not serve us or anyone around us when we stay attached to things that keep us down. The martyr syndrome does nothing to advance our purpose, nor does believing that we are less than what we really are, or that we should settle for mediocrity, or stay in negative, burdensome situations.

Become conscious of the indicators of stress or heaviness in your life, then identify the things that trigger those feelings. Also identify the things that give you joy, so that you will know the direction that might serve you better. You will then have the answers for what needs change or release. If you ask for the answers, they will be given to you...then the choice is yours for what you are willing to change. Have courage, be brave. Your higher self, your destiny, is waiting.

I Can See Clearly Now, the Rain Is Gone

My previous blog post, "Tests of Detachment," marked another turning point of growth for me in letting go. I have had many instances and opportunities to practice this over the last few years, and each time, I have grown significantly. There is a mastery in deciding not to stay in illusion or drama, but to find the lesson and the perfection in every situation. (If you have not read that post, it might be helpful to do so before reading this).

Since writing that entry last week, I have actively practiced it - loving my father, but not getting consumed by him, his drama, or by anyone else who wanted to stay in it with him. It has definitely been a test because there have been some ensuing events that threatened to drag me back into it in a deeper way, but thus far, I have passed the test. The feeling is liberating beyond what I can convey with words. My understanding of the perfection of the situation gets clearer and clearer to me, and I am encouraged by my own ability to rise above it. I have likened it to crabs that are placed in a boiling pot of water...if one crab gets close to escaping, the other crabs will grab it with their claws to keep in in the boiling water with them. But I don't want to be in the boiling water that will become my demise, and I am staying steadfast in my escape!

During this process, there has been a song that keeps coming into my head at random times - in such a way that it feels like a message of affirmation to me, and it is most appropriate. The song is "I Can See Clearly Now" by Jimmy Cliff and is an upbeat song about the triumph and clarity after the storm. When I heard it in my head, I was energized and couldn't help but get a big smile on my face, feeling lifted off the ground by its message. I found a youtube version that I have played a few times because it lifts me up even further. This particular version has clips from "Cool Runnings" - the story of the Jamaican bobsled team, so its underlying message is even more uplifting - and also quite appropriate during this Olympic season. (CLICK HERE to view this happy video).

Yesterday and today, from a weather standpoint, have been absolutely beautiful here in Asheville - bright, bright, bright, sunshiny days - following an unusually harsh and somewhat grey winter for this area. So not only am I struck by the metaphor of the song in its parallel to my life and growth right now, but it is as if the weather is exemplifying that thought as well...it is a NEW DAY! We should appreciate the inner growth that the winter provides, but be willing and eager to accept the sunshine when it bursts through.

We each have the opportunity to make every day a "new day" - and one in which we see sunshine and brightness in our spiritual lives - deep down in our souls. This exists for us at any time we want to receive it. We are in constant control of the choice...Will we make today a day in which we open ourselves up to the bright sunshiny day that is out there, or will be stay under our umbrellas, fearful and tired of rain, but unable to see the sun? Step outside of your patterns and let go of the things that are weighing you down or holding you back. When you release them, the sun will shine in.

Tests of Detachment

One thing I have learned about the spiritual journey is that when you make progress, the Universe/God/Holy Spirit is eager to push you ahead to more. So it often seems like the more progress you make, the more you get bombarded with new hurdles to overcome - ego obstacles that are within your control but hold you back. Over the last several years, as I had the courage to take leaps of faith, I always experienced some new gift, or an expansion of a gift that I already had. The bigger the leap of faith, the more expansive the gift would be. But along with the gift, another obstacle always seemed to present itself almost as soon as the previous one had been overcome.

Often, I would enter the "poor me" moment, "when is this going to stop?" At times, I wasn't sure if I could take it, but fortunately, each time I felt ready to give up, I had a moment of clarity, realizing exactly what was happening, understanding that the new challenge was a gift - an expression of what I needed to learn next in order to advance to my true purpose, by letting go of my worldly way of thinking and behaving. I reminded myself that since God doesn't give us anything we are not capable of handling, and since He and His host of angels and spirit have a better view and perspective of our needs and our path - getting consistent obstacles was actually a compliment and sign that I was on the right path. In the childhood game of "hot and cold" where "hot" is used to tell the blindfolded finder that she is close, and "cold" is to tell her that she is farther away, our obstacles are sometimes signs that we are getting "hotter" - closer to finding what we have lost or forgotten. It was as if I was hearing angels telling me in quick repetition..."hot, hot, hot...keep going in this direction".

These moments of clarity served as an affirmation that even though it may have seemed like things were very wrong, those feelings of joy in the midst of adversity showed that I was on the right track... letting go of old thoughts was ultimately bringing me peace by showing the way out of attachment to them. In spiritual thought there is the concept of "ego" - which is not so much about arrogance as we commonly think of ego (although arrogance can certainly be part of it); but the spiritual concept of ego is that it is all of our negative thoughts that hold us back and make us think we are less. These are all essentially rooted in fear. When we think negatively (particularly about ourselves), we are doomed to attract more negative into our lives. It is the reason our world stays in conflict. When we overcome these fear-based thoughts that hold us back - anger, guilt, jealousy, judgment,the need to be right or have our way as the only way - we are stuck being less than what we really are - less than the wondrous and powerful beings that we were created to be. It is our perception of ourselves as less, as unworthy, as undeserving, or as incapable of attracting good that keeps us from returning to that true Oneness with God - that place where we find bliss and joy in each moment, even in the difficult ones.

My father has been a severe alcoholic for most of my life. It has been a painful experience for him and for those around him. It has been something that seemed to rear its ugly head in so many ways and so many moments - always ready to overshadow good things. Many around him have stayed attached to his drama and his need for control - including myself in many ways. For years, I had a desire to "fix" him, to help him overcome this by getting help. I could not understand how others were so content to let it continue, even feeding and fueling the problem when his body was screaming out in illness that it could not take any more abuse. I could not understand their denial of it until I understood that they were as trapped as he was. The denial around me made it feel like I was part of a circus, yet, when I would try to detach from the drama, I would have guilt laid on me - how could I desert my father, how could I not be supportive of his needs? I even had my spirituality thrown up to me in extremely hurtful ways, as if my desire to be spiritual meant that I should do whatever anyone wanted me to do in every moment and situation - no matter how insane it was or how damaging it was to me.

But what we have to understand about spirituality is that it should be our focus to LOVE everyone - to send them love and compassion - but it DOES NOT mean that we should stay in their drama because that is only keeping us from attaining and perfecting our gifts. Misery and suffering does not bring out our gifts - detaching from misery and suffering does.

My father is now in the hospital again and is deteriorating quickly, yet he still clings to his old ways of anger and manipulation in getting what he wants. I know that all he has to do is release and see himself as a wonderful and perfect child of God in order to be free, but his religious upbringing tells him that he is bad, so he bahaves badly...What we think is what we become. It is painful to watch the drama around him, as well as the attachment to drama by some others, but I can see it for what it is, and know that I must release myself by detaching without guilt. I cannot let my journey be derailed by others' choices or fears...I have come too far for that and it would not be serving my gifts or God by letting ego win.

Lately, ego has been working me hard. It is not surprising, because I have felt myself returning to my power so strongly, empowered by the obstacles that I have overcome; so ego is pulling out all the stops to own me once again. But my journey has taught me that the harder ego works, the more important the leap must be. When you find yourself feeling beaten up by life, tell ego to get behind you - in the same way that Jesus said, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me". Ego (fear, guilt, anger, control, judgment) does not serve us and it does not serve God. Our simple act of telling it to go away empowers us to overcome its control over us. It is a reminder that ego has no power without our willingness to go along.

As difficult as this process with my father is in my earthly eyes, with my spiritual eyes, I can see that my father's journey is a gift to me...An obvious and blatant demonstration of the insanity that ego creates. My father may have chosen this difficult path to teach me and those around him the lessons of letting go - of detaching. Dad may have made it more absurd in order to make a point of how ridiculous and destructive ego is - and to point out to me just how ridiculous it is for me to stay there. I feel as if my father has been my teacher, and his work - his suffering - will only end when his job is done. He is providing me with a big test of my belief in my purpose, to gauge how well I can demonstrate my faith, how well I can "practice what I preach". It is for this reason that I detach - to let him go in peace knowing that his job for me is done...and I thank him for it.

I Am a Little Pencil...

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world. - Mother Teresa

I have just moved forward toward publishing the book I have been working on - off and on - for a while now. There has been a period in which I could not do much writing and I was frustrated about it, feeling like I was failing, but I have now realized that I have actually been working on it more "on" than "off", even if it did not seem so. Events of my life have been telling the story, with me living the book even when I was not writing. The experiences ARE the book - the seeking, the learning, the practicing - all a necessary part of what is being said. It is one thing to write about something from your head, telling others how to be, but the experience of living it, obstacles and all, makes it from the heart. To write this book from the heart, from the soul, I needed to live it fully, and God provided me with wonderful opportunities to "practice what I preach".

I needed to learn to let go of my own fears and just trust Him, knowing that everything we need is provided at exactly the time we need it, and when we are ready to allow it. I needed to clear areas of my life that were holding me back, some of which had been holding me back my entire life, patterns that ran deep. I needed to learn to love me, because the love I give others is not complete until I really love and appreciate myself. I needed to learn that I am deserving, and special, and that I have many gifts from God to share with the world, to help make it a better place. I needed to let go of the effects of a world that beats us up, telling us that we are less, forcing us to conform to its way, which are not always in line with who we really are.

At the beginning of this year, I started hosting a facebook page studying "A Course In Miracles". Its ideas correspond to many of the thoughts on this blogsite, and the ideas that I have been learning since I started down this journey of spiritual awakening. ACIM shows us a systematic path on which to undo some of our worldly conditioning so that we can return to God in a truer fashion, through returning to our own power that is activated by love. It shows us how to release our fear emotions, which include doubt, guilt, judgment, and uncertainty. Although I had studied ACIM previously, going throught the exercises again at this time, after I had cleared many obstacles, has been immensely helpful. Doing it with others through facebook, I believe, has given me an added power. As we seek to grow spiritually, we are uplifted by others who are doing the same.

As I move forward in finishing the book and publishing it, I keep in mind Mother Teresa'a quote and ask to be a little pencil in the hand of God. I know these experiences I have had are through God, and I ask to be an accurate messenger of ideas that will help others find God, find peace, find love for themselves and others so that our world can be a better place. If you have enjoyed this blogsite, please hold me up in the light to help me complete this task in a way that brings light to others.

We are all pencils of God, whether we are writing, expressing other gifts, or simply living in a way that shows compassion and acceptance of others, remembering that we are all One. Find your avenue to be a little pencil, to open to your gifts and share with others. Your life will have new meaning and you will have more joy and peace.

Giving In Secret

For the last week the world has been united in compassion for Haiti. Tragedy is a powerful bonding agent. It touches our hearts and gives us moments of understanding that we are all One. In those moments, love flows through conflict, through discrimination, through resistance. These moments become more than unfortunate and painful events - they are not punishment from God for misdeeds - rather, they are opportunties to renew the love in our hearts. On a daily basis and without those strong reminders, we have a harder time staying in that place of compassion.

Many people and organizations become moved to help, to give, to send love and prayers, which is a great thing. However, there is an element of grandstanding that can also occur in an event of this magnitude, as people use it as an opportunity to get notoriety for themselves or their groups. I want to be careful not to sound too critical here. As Aesop said, "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." But I also want to remind that gifts given quietly from the heart may have more impact on our souls - because they are void of ego. It can be difficult to keep ego out of the equation, and the need or desire to publicize what is given can be an indicator of where we are. If we can refrain from marketing what we have given, then it tells us that the gifts are from the heart and for the sake of giving, not for receiving recognition.

When we give and broadcast it, there is something lost. Our gifts become much more meaningful and soulfully rewarding when they are quiet, not subject to examination by others, not subject to our ego's need for boasting, not subject to gaining publicity or public accolades. I think that is what Jesus was saying in this passage that he Bible credits to him:

2"So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.

3"But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,

4so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6: 2-4)

I don't think Jesus was saying that it was entirely bad to give publicly, but that it is not the best and purest way to give, and does not indicate that there is full communion with God. While we benefit from giving either way, the need to be noticed for it speaks of a need to impress, of an inner feeling of being unworthy and the need to earn acceptance. There is a fine line between charity for charity's sake and charity that is partly for pride's sake; the pride tarnishes the beauty of the charity. Therein lies the root of our soul's troubles. That need serves as a sign that we are still not understanding that God thinks we are perfect and wonderful, and only our negative thoughts about ourselves keep us from Him. So that need to tell everyone can serve as an indicator or gauge of where we are spiritually - as individuals, as a church or other group.

Many might say that giving publicly helps awareness and encourages others to give, but even that suggests a competition or underlying guilt. Certainly with our media coverage, the levels of giving would be well known whether or not they are credited by name. I encourage you to increase your charity to others...whether it be through money, through time, through a commitment to go out each day and be a light to others by your ways. But try to do it quietly, where you will know that ego is not involved in it; then you will know your own sincerity. It simply allows you a level of soulful connection with God, not man, that can be liberating. It is an opportunity to live in the world but not of it.

God Bless Haiti - and let us thank the people of Haiti for opening our hearts through their difficulties and their courage in adversity.

Honoring Dr. King's Message

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today we celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who challenged us all to be better, to think better. His ideas were so ahead of his time that he lost his life over them, at the hand of others who acted in fear of the changes that his thoughts might bring about. Dr. King helped us progress by shining light to drive out darkness.

Each of us has come to this world as light, with the purpose of illuminating the darkness. This is why humans progress - because we know that is our purpose. Those individuals like Dr. King, who are willing to be that light against the odds, help us to be better people, help us to love one another in actions rather than just in words. It is interesting to me that those who opposed Dr. King did so very much in the name of God and Christianity, quoting Biblical scripture to justify their actions. In hindsight, most of us can see that was in error, yet so many well meaning people do the same thing today in justifying their hatred.

Recently, I saw a declaration that "the Bible is not PC" (meaning Politically Correct). I pondered that statement, knowing that the bearer of the message was probably meaning to convey that since the Bible did not use "PC" terms, then we should never consider them. It was intended to be a clever "buzz statement" that I'm certain has been repeated over and over by many who think that it demonstrates their dedication to the Bible and to God.

Then I thought about the Bible's politics...the ideas of the times were that women were essentially worthless, wealthy men held all the rights and power, it was acceptable to own human beings in slavery, or to sell your daughter into slavery...the poor and downtrodden were expected to remain that way. Perhaps the Bible SHOULD HAVE BEEN more politically correct, but since the powerful had the ability to filter and control its message, why would they want to change their established ways? Perhaps Jesus's messages were an attempt to balance those horrid inequities through softer words of love and compassion...just as good (unextreme) political correctness seeks to do. And while I would agree that sometimes PC gets a little silly or extremist, and sometimes becomes more about winning political favor, the premise behind it might be illuminating. Personally, I don't want to say things that are hurtful or offensive to others, even if I didn't mean them that way.

Judgment is a dark emotion. When we look at others as less than us, or decide that only our way is right, we are spreading darkness, not light. We are not illuminating their goodness or driving away the darkness, rather we are contributing to it. When we become callous in our ways and resist change, we are neither enlightened nor enlightening. Just as it only takes a small amount of light to illuminate a dark room so that we can see our way, it only takes a small amount of light - a few committed people - to illuminate the world. When we do this collectively, there will be no darkness. Just as God declared, "Let there be light," we can declare, "Let ME be light," and choose to spread unconditional love.

On this day of remembering Dr. King's contributions, decide how you can spread light. Are you willing to challenge old accepted ways of thinking in order to make way for new illuminations - as not only King did, but as Jesus did? Can you risk disdain from others in order to seek or deliver a new message, encouraging love and freedom rather than fear and control?

See others with love rather than judgment, notice good qualities rather than bad, give up your need to be RIGHT in exchange for a need to be LIGHT, and you will contribute to driving out darkness. Be the light amongst the darkness, the love amongst the hate, the hope amongst the despair, the calm amongst the turmoil. It is your purpose and where you will find peace and joy.

Sacrifice vs. Surrender

I am hosting a page on facebook for studying "A Course In Miracles" (ACIM). I have studied this text before, but decided to revisit it for 2010, as I seek to move forward in a deeper spiritual journey. By studying ACIM with others on facebook, I get the benefit of the group feel - the power of minds joined to help each other, without any one individual dictating what others should believe. As I work through the exercises, I can feel the strength of numbers helping me to grow, knowing that we are all in this together - and I don't just mean the ACIM group...I mean we are ALL in this world TOGETHER...and we are ONE! The sooner we remember that and let down our need to have our way be the only way, the sooner we will have peace, within our own hearts and in the world at large.

One concept that stood out to me this week was the contrast of sacrifice and surrender. We sometimes intermingle these concepts as if they are similar, worrying about surrendering because of what sacrifice it might bring. ACIM teaches us that sacrifice is not necessary, that it is not of God, but only man's doing:

"Sacrifice is a notion totally unknown to God. It arises solely from fear, and frightened people can be vicious". (Text,3.I.4)

"Surrender" in our world sometimes has a negative connotation of giving up or admitting defeat, being beaten. Surrender often implies a loss of freedom, yet in the spiritual sense, surrender IS freedom. It is simply a release from all of the bondage and baggage that our human earthbound ways have taken on in error, a remembrance that sacrifice and struggle are entirely unnecessary. We have concocted illusions that have made us feel unworthy, and have assumed that sacrifice would be required in order to clear ourselves, in order to earn back our worthiness. So we punish ourselves with pain, thinking that it well serve as penance. In Christianity, for example, the cross represents sacrifice by Jesus. We are told that Jesus had to sacrifice for our wrongdoing, yet the message of Jesus was that sacrifice was all in our minds - that we could heal ourselves by simply remembering that we had that ability - that our pain was all in our minds.

The sacrifice idea becomes a very powerful tool to control us - to keep us feeling badly or that we have a debt to pay, to hold us down from true freedom and our Highest Selves. When we surrender to God, we are not bowing down in weakness as has often been portrayed; rather, we are lifting up into our strength and greatness, showing faith that we can move mountains, as we were told we could do, but seldom remember or believe. People and organizations that gain their power through fear and control do become vicious at times when we begin understand that sacrifice is unnecessary, when we circumvent them to surrender to our Higher Power. They can attack or heavily criticize in their fear, trying to whip us back into submission to their ideas, but others will know there is truth in our thoughts and actions, so we must hold fast and bringing others along in love and peace.

So make a choice to surrender - to ask God to reveal your true strengths and gifts. Accept that you are a Divine being - creating your experience, creating miracles - and return to that rightful place where you were created to live perfection. Give up the idea of sacrifice so that you can surrender to living and loving without judgment, without the need to be right, without the need to control others. Accept your power, and it will be the end of your suffering.

BE the light of the world...

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Put On Your 3-D Glasses

Recent talk about the 3D movie Avatar caused me to think about the 3D viewing process, where the audience must wear special glasses in order to see real depth in the 3D picture. I thought about our spiritual vision, and how, when we see only with our "earth eyes", we cannot fully see all the depth and layers that exist. We miss things, miss the whole experience - miss truth - because we do not choose to view what is before us in the way that it was intended to be seen by its creator.

In New Age circles, as well as ancient spiritual practices, there is a common term of "Third Eye", which represents our spiritual sight - one that brings the blurriness into absolute clarity so that we can see what God really intended for us -before the ways of this world stripped us of our "truth vision". Our images have become distorted in layers of control and illusion - our tools of true sight systematically taken away over the ages so that we do not have the methods to see God in His fullness.

But now, in this age of information and discovery, we have the ability to return to our full spiritual vision - to return to our spiritual sight. In the same way that is is easy for a movie viewer to have the full experience of the production by putting on their 3D glasses, we can begin to have the full experience of God by returning to our spiritual sight - we simply have to ask to see truth, ask God to show us, then be willing to open our eyes and see. If, in a 3D movie, we put on the glasses but close our eyes, we will see nothing, our experience then limited to sound and what we hear. In our spiritual journey, if the visions are shown to us but we close our eyes and listen only to those around us for our truth or to tell us what is happening, then we will not experience it for ourselves. In the same respect that 3D glasses allow us to see a movie with a new look, changing our spiritual vision can help us see in a more Divine way.

This is a new year and new decade, marking a new beginning, a freshness. Make it a spiritual beginning. Stop seeing life in 2 dimensional black and white or in the way that others have told you to see it, and move on to full color and dimension, having the experience for yourself. In spiritual terms, our dimension is referred to as the 3rd dimension - but there are more dimensions that are beyond this mass/body existence. Once we move to these levels, we are acting more in alignment with God and our Higher Selves. Challenge all that you have thought in the past (mostly from what you have been told to think) and move on to truly think and live on your terms, having the full experience because you no longer see with deficient sight.

Ask God to give you the next dimension - a truer experience - ask angels for their help and guidance, then allow it to happen. Don't second guess it and put your own limitations on it, but accept it as it comes, knowing that you want to see clearly from God, not from man's blurred vision of God.

Your life will change...this new year will be more real...this decade a momentous one. It is all waiting, just be willing to put on new spiritual glasses to live in the moment rather than the past or in past interpretations. Then savor all of the new experiences...ask for even more...and enjoy.